Life sure does have a funny way of making you realize that God is in control of your life, doesn't it?
In 2013, I started this blog thinking I just wanted to write and it would be a good outlet. I had no idea what an outlet it would eventually become for me and what I would be using it to hopefully help inspire people.
I have always been a "big" girl. Even as a child, I was always one of the tallest kids in my class. I wasn't overly heavy growing up, but I left "skinny" behind when I left Elementary School. I was an athlete all through school which helped me stay in pretty decent shape and let me eat what ever I wanted to eat.
College was a difficult time for me in that I was exposed to constant food, lots of booze, and very little activity. To be honest, I really didn't know how to handle this change. I went through a lot of ups and downs physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually during this time. My weight yo-yo'd big time all throughout college which truly did not help in my emotional and mental state. I just couldn't find a happy place in my life. I felt alone and unloved. Because I didn't love myself, I couldn't believe that anyone could love me; that God could love me.
I did find someone who loved me very much and I loved him, my sweet E. We were married in 2004 and had our first daughter, L, in 2005. E and I worked together and tried the South Beach Diet after L was born. It worked great for awhile, I lost 50 pounds. But, unfortunately I couldn't keep up with the diet and the weight started to creep back on. In 2008, our daughter J was born and then our son M surprised us in 2009. I had a lot of issues while carrying M and actually didn't gain very much weight with his pregnancy. But, after he was born, I still had a lot of weight I needed to take off to be skinny.
So, I joined a group of friends in a Biggest Loser Contest. I followed the Weight Watcher's Program on my own and came in 2nd in the contest and ended up losing 65 pounds in the process. Again, I was not able to stick with the diet. After several years of stress, family trauma, deaths of very special family members, I gained every single pound of that 65 I loss as well as about 25 more in interest.
2012 and 2013 were pretty rough years in our family. I am an emotional eater and that is how I dealt with the stress of it all. At the end of 2013, E and I sat down and really talked about where were at and where we wanted to be. He had struggled a lot in the past couple of years, just as I had. He told me he supported me however I wanted to change my life. So, I sat down and I prayed. I prayed the Lord would point me in the direction I needed to move in order to fulfill His plans for me. I prayed that if He wanted me to follow this path then I needed His help. I wrote out a list of things I wanted to accomplish and discussed with E how I was going to get there. He said he wanted to lose weight and to do certain things so we would work together. Thankfully, my sweet hubby has a degree in Exercise Science so he set out a routine for me.
I am working on it and continue to work on it. Every day I must pray for His guidance and strength. Every day I must make the decision to be better than I was the day before. Every day I must believe that I am worthy of everything I am doing. Every day I must believe that I am WORTH IT.
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