I Will Survivie

I have to tell you all about a very devastating problem I have developed.  I have looked into treatment, but there really is only one cure.  Unfortunately, this cure could potentially cause complications in my life and could even cause the problem to become more severe.

That is right, I have STARTITIS.  I know, I know, it is just awful.  Startitis affects 99% of knitters at one time or another and can lead to very late nights, a very messy yarn storage unit/closet/room, a dead computer battery, and even potentially an upset husband.

For those that are unaware of what Startitis is and just how serious it can be, let me fill you in.  Startitis is a condition that causes a knitter to become completely unhappy with everything she (I am fully aware that knitters can be men, and I encourage them to become knitters, but for the purposes of this blog, I will be using feminine pronouns!) is knitting and makes her feel that she has to start a new project immediately.  Sometimes Startitis can even cause a knitter to feel the need to cast on 2, 3, or even more projects right away.  Startitis can strike without warning and can last for a long time until the new items are started or until the knitter has a refreshed love of the project(s) that she has already been working on (the latter is extremely rare and may only be a very temporary reprieve from the symptoms of Startitis!).

The only cure is to begin at least 1 new project, and beginning more than one project will increase the knitter's chances of overcoming startitis.  Occasionally, this "cure" can have the opposite effect on a knitter and will cause her to dislike every brand new thing she casts on causing her to rip back, or "frog", everything she attempts to do.  The knitter will usually spend hours on websites such as Ravelry or Pinterest in order to find that "perfect" pattern to help her overcome startitis, sometimes causing the knitter to avoid going to bed until wee hours of the morning.  The places in which a knitter stores her yarn will usually be destroyed as the knitter attempts to sort through the already owned yarn for inspiration.  Many times, even though the knitter has an enormous amount of yarn, the knitter will not be able to find the "right" yarn for the "right" pattern and will end up at the yarn store battling with other knitters afflicted with the same problem.

I urge you to approach knitters dealing with Startitis with caution, especially if you are wearing a sweater or knitted hat or scarf.  She might not be able to help herself as she grabs a hold of your sleeve and feels the fiber of the sweater in between her fingers or looks at how the sleeves are connected and wondering if she could recreate the design.  Do not be afraid if this should happen, just stand their quietly while the knitter looks, she will eventually let go.  For your own safety, do not ask a knitter who is afflicted with Startitis what she is working on lately.  She will appreciate your restraint, and you will appreciate not having to listen to her complain that she is unhappy with everything in her knitting bag.  

So, as I began this blog post telling you, I have been struck with Startitis.  I have a sweater, a shawl, a sock, and a scarf on needles currently and I am not enjoying any of them.  I have been looking online for 4 hours trying to find something I would like to knit.  I have not ventured into the yarn closet yet, but I would imagine that will happen tomorrow.  So, if you see this knitter tomorrow, approach with caution.  I will probably have the previously mentioned shawl in my hands and may even be scowling at it with every stitch.  Hopefully, Startitis will pass quickly and allow me to enjoy my current projects again.  Mainly because most likely 3 of the 4 projects I have going on were the result of my last fight with Startitis.

As a final suggestion, if you know a knitter who has been struck with Startitis and you see her working on her knitting, be sure to tell her how beautiful it is.  Even it if it s big lumpy pile of something the color of which you can only describe as breastfed infant poop yellow, complement it.  You will not only bring a smile to the knitter's face, but also might save her a fight with her husband as he is tired of yarn being strewn throughout the house as she looks for her next Startitis fix.

Blessings,

Theresa

This is the Cake version of "I Will Survive".  I LOVE Gloria Gaynor's version, but Cake's rendition always makes me smile.  I hope it makes you smile too!

Can't Stand Losing You

I have torn my house apart today.  I have misplaced a library book and can not find it ANYWHERE!!  Seriously people, I am absolutely clueless as to where this book could be.  I have looked in my car.  I have looked throughout my house.  I have even looked in the bag where the library books go.  It has disappeared.  I think that the little elf that comes in and steals one sock out of the wash machine must have taken it.  I am not giving up though.  I refuse to let a book break me.  As many books as I read and I have not lost one yet, today will not be the first.  I am on a mission.  It must be here somewhere, right?

So, as I have been tearing apart the house trying to find this book, I ended up cleaning out my yarn corner by the couch.  I am telling you reader(s), this turned in to quite the endeavor!  I ended up pulling all the balls, skeins, hanks, and messes of yarn out of the different bags that I had piled there and started winding them all up into what are called "yarn cakes".  Wow! Do I have a lot of yarn!  In reality, I know that I have a lot of yarn, I mean I have an entire closet full of it, but seeing a whole mess of it "caked" up like that was shocking! Not shocking enough to get rid of any, but shocking none the less! Oh well, at least I know that if we ever lose electricity in the middle of winter, we will not freeze as there is enough wool in the house to keep this family of 5 cozy for several
days weeks.  And, let's not forget that I can always stuff it in the walls if we need more insulation! 

M wanted to help me wind my yarn.  I let him do it a couple of times, but after I had rewound pretty much everything that he had wound, I said that he had done enough.  I took over amid a lot of very loud cries and the yelling of "You're a Mean Mommy!"  What is that about?  I let him do what he wanted for 5 minutes (even though letting him do it caused more work for me!) and then when I told him he was done, I get told that I am a mean mommy?  And even more curious to me is why I let it bother me.  Someone (probably more like someones than someone, but I do not remember who so it doesn't really matter) told me that if I wasn't being told that I was a mean mommy or that they hate me or something like that at least once a day, then I am not doing my job.  Let me just say that the payment for doing my job should be at least chocolate, wine, or at least more yarn (since you know, I don't actually get paid to be a mommy!) and not cries that my "bosses" think I suck at it.  Before anyone lectures me about how I should handle this type of situation, I did tell him that I did not appreciate him saying that too me and that it hurt my feelings.  He told me he was sorry and I know he felt bad about it (not my intent, but hopefully it will keep it from happening again), but it is just frustrating sometimes, you know?  Why can't they all just behave perfectly without having to be directed?  And, if I'm asking, why do they have to be fed and clothed every day?  I mean it, I want to get all of the laundry done one day and then have naked day the next day just so I do not have to do an extra load of laundry.  Is that too much to ask??

Blessings,

Theresa